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by Hugo Harley

Queer JesusQueer Jesus by Andrew Craig Williams

I think the reason why I’m an atheist is the overbearing influence that religion had on me growing up. I was always told that my ideas, my thoughts, and my notions of what was right and wrong were subject to judgment by an all-powerful, all-seeing, and all-knowing bearded dude in the sky.

On the bright side, I am grateful for the knowledge and culture that my God-fearing parents imparted. It is because of their oft-narrow interpretations of what it means to live a “good life” that I am able to appreciate and decipher my own ideology and goals.

But I digress.

When I watched CockyBoysA Thing Of Beauty earlier today, I was blown away. I honestly couldn’t make heads or tails of the feeling I was experiencing. It was almost indescribable. Then I realized it wasn’t just one feeling. It was a melange of what I consider to be primal and human emotions, all connected through guilt.

I was guilty because the three strongest emotions I was feeling were a part of my religious upbringing, the “seven deadly sins.”

A Thing of Beauty

Lust

This one is a no-brainer. Colby Keller and Dale Cooper are two near-perfect men in my opinion. I’ve had the privilege of meeting and speaking with them (both separate and together) and I will admit that every time, I was so taken aback that I couldn’t form coherent phrases. Their confidence, their intelligence, and their magnetism make me quiver at the knees… (forgive my dated metaphor: Harlequin period romances were my version of extreme porn when I was 12 years old).

Result: My soul would be blown back and forth in a violent storm in the second Circle of Hell.

A Thing of Beauty

Envy

One thing that CockyBoys’ Jake Jaxson strives to do is showcase the natural love and bond that two men can share. By interpreting Walt Whitman’s “We Two Boys Together Clinging” (in possibly the best interpretation of anything ever), Jake displayed this normal everyday love that I often wish to experience. I long for the day that I, too, can take a beach side vacation with my lover.

Result: According to Dante, my eyes were to be sewn shut with wire.

A Thing of Beauty

Greed

I wanted more. I know that there are three more parts to A Thing of Beauty, but I don’t want to wait. I want it all now: the man love, the beautiful bodies, the imaginative escape.

Result: Being bound (IML-style) and laying face down on the ground in the fourth Circle of Hell.

Jesus and Judas

After calming down and meditating some more on Part I, I realized that these “sins” I had committed had actually left me with a smile on my face. Why would I be going to hell again?

When I thought about it, there was another feeling that co-existed with my envy, and that was appreciation. Jake and R.J. Sebastian have showed us an intimate piece of themselves. I admire that love and just like them, I want everybody to experience it.

I’ll curb my greed for now because I know when the next part comes out, I’ll be blown away once more and sit at my desk wondering if I would ever watch something so beautiful ever again. This morsel of a much larger meal is enough for me for now quite frankly.

As for the lust, well, I hear the second circle of hell ain’t so bad this time of year.

Do yourselves a favor, head over to CockyBoys and watch A Thing of Beauty. Your hearts and minds (and souls as well) will thank you.

Hugo Harley is a gay porn addict who’s fortunate enough to work in the gay adult industry. He’s a flit and plans to name his firstborn Bacardi. He likes to tweet naked pics of guys: @HugoHarley


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