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by Cilantro Che Guevara

Forbes released an article last Friday titled “How The Human Face Might Look in 100,000 Years.” Using scientific data and a computational geneticist, the article concludes we’re all pretty much going to look like a combination of Sailor Moon and Anastasiya Shpagina.

While it’s easy to skim the text in the original Forbes article to get to the pictures, you’ll miss out on the science behind the noticeable changes to really know why Ricky Roman looks like Puss in Boots from Shrek when he sucks a cock. A smart person named Dr. Alan Kwan predicts the skull will be larger because 100,000 years ago, our heads were twice as small and our faces were not as flat — all due to rapid changes in climate and environment.

Aside from that, he bases most of his data off the fact that humans will be so intelligent by that point that we’ll have the ability to genetically modify how we look to the way we see fit, with logic and practicality as the determining factor:

“Eyes will get larger, as attempts to colonize Earth’s solar system and beyond, see people living in the dimmer environments of colonies further away from the Sun than Earth. Similarly, skin will become more pigmented to lessen the damage from harmful UV radiation outside of the Earth’s protective ozone. Kwan expects people to have thicker eyelids and a more pronounced superciliary arch (the smooth, frontal bone of the skull under the brow), to deal with the effects of low gravity.”

So maybe these new physical developments will help us see further colonies in the solar system, but what will we look like when we have sex? What will the CockyBoys look like when they fuck? We just had to find out, so we enlisted our resident computational porn-eticist and facial enthusiast, The Porn Pup, to render us a very cocky future:

CockyBoys

Jett Black and Levi Karter

CockyBoys

Ricky Roman

CockyBoys

Jake Bass and Max Ryder

CockyBoys

Bravo Delta

CockyBoys

Arnaud Chagall and Dillon Rossi

CockyBoys

GoGo Harder

CockyBoys

Ty Roderick and JD Phoenix

CockyBoys

Max Carter

CockyBoys

Gabriel Clark and Francis Houde

@SillyCilantro


    Bravo Delta looks oddly hot in 100,000 years. Ricky Roman looks like he eats babies.

    Amy
    June 11th, 2013 4:50 pm

    LOL!! I saw that story on Huff Po and still LOLing at your take on it…

    sirFucksalot
    June 12th, 2013 2:57 pm

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