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by Chris Harder

So there I was in the pink, linoleum-tiled women’s restroom of Headquarters, soaking my fire torches in camping fuel with CockyBoys exclusives Levi Karter sexting off to my right, Max Carter nursing a Long Island Iced tea the size of his beautiful Nordic head, and one of my Latin dancers nonchalantly masturbating and tying off his erection after a light dinner of Red Bull and Viagra. And that my friends is what I like to call “Show Business!”

Or perhaps “Stripper Business!”

Or perhaps most aptly, the “Harder-Wood Revue,” which was my biggest Boylesque-Circlesque-Pornlesque strip show to date. Extra emphasis on the “lesque.” Featuring male performers from all walks—and girths—of life, the Harder-Wood Revue had its literal revealing during this past month’s Gay Pride at the usually all-female Headquarters Gentlemen’s Club. Including shows by porn royalty Johnny Hazzard and bright, young, up-n-cummer Levi Karter, the HWR also showcased the physically impressive circus talents of even the more physically adorable Topher Bousquet, “classically trained” lap dancing by some of my favorite Hell’s Kitchen hustlers, and was hosted by the foul-mouthed, former Dom-turned-Julliard opera singer, Shelly “the singing siren.”

Oh, and I also stripped and ate fire. You know, just to keep the mood casual.

This first edition of the Harder-Wood Revue will be one of many shows fusing the legacy of NYC’s “off-the-Great-White-Way,” Minksy-esque entertainment with its equally notorious gay theaters and strip clubs ala “the Gaiety.” I like to think of the Harder-Wood Revue as a freshly packed, generously stuffed alternative to New York’s already underdressed nightlife, pairing plenty of show quality with tried and true, good ol’ fashioned dick.

Looking back through the fleshy blur of that inaugural evening, I’m trying to pick out my favorite memory to share. Was it catching Levi giving a private lap dance to a swinger couple in the red velvet recesses of the champagne room? What about watching Shelly deep throat an entire microphone while a slightly terrified — though incredibly grateful male patron — retrieved a Pleasure Chest Blow Job kit from Max Carter’s already bulging underwear? Or how about the entire audience finally convincing Sam, the incredibly buff, excruciatingly straight bartender to at last strip down to his underwear while continuing to serve Headquarters extra strong cocktails? I think Sam’s fear made his pour’s stronger!

Well friends, since I’m authoring the article, I’ll share my simple anecdote which errs more on the side of nostalgia than shock value. Long after the last dancer had cashed out his funny money and Sam had put his pants back on, I had finally packed up my own stripper wardrobe of g-strings and one noticeably heavy fire extinguisher and was clad in a passably decent pair of denim cut-offs when the manager notified me that I still had one more client waiting at the bar. Slightly annoyed but eager for more cab fare, I rounded the corner of the lounge with my suitcase and laid eyes on literally the first man I had ever lap danced when I started in nightlife a few years back on the boardwalks of Fire Island.

They say a go-go dancer never forgets his first client… well scratch that. Actually no one EVER says that. In fact, more likely most dancers just make their money and move on to the next hustle because honey, that phone bill ain’t gonna pay itself. But nevertheless, for the purpose of this story, I did remember this man. He was a doctor or an actor or something like that—definitely employed—and soon after exchanging hugs, he let me know he was done with New York and moving on and as a final goodbye to his wicked, NYC ways, he wanted one last dance from yours truly.

I’ll let you use your imagination for the rest, but I’ll finish by saying that as I slid my cut-offs down past my jock, I gratefully reveled in the success of the first Harder-Wood Revue and how excited I already felt about more Wood to come in the future.

And then I lap danced that mother fucker Nomi Malone style and took a cab back to Brooklyn.

You can get more Wood plus plenty of opportunities to see CockyBoys exclusives Go-Go Harder, Levi Karter, and more of NYC’s most talented, scantily clad strippers at the next Harder-Wood Revue on Sunday, August 4th at Headquarters Gentlemen’s Club. The boys will be joined by guest host and drag sex-sation, Sherry Vine plus Boylesque performances by Vegas award-winning Mr. Gorgeous. Contact Go-Go Harder at for more information and details.

    Out of interest, when is Go-Go Harder’s next scene/film going to be on CB? X

    July 30th, 2013 8:21 pm

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